What is a Sex and Love Addiction (SLA)?
Sex and love addiction (SLA) is actually a spectrum of disorders which range from co-dependent relationships and personalities to full blown addictions ranging from pornography, objectification, multiple partners and extramarital affairs, etcetera. There are documented studies which show that a Sex and Love Addiction alters brain chemicals as much if not more than narcotics. The Sex and Love Addict may love their spouse or partner and be devoted to the relationship in many other ways. A Sex and Love Addiction is more about the addict than it is about dissatisfaction with their spouse or partner. Much of my practice is devoted to treating co-dependents and Sex and Love Addicts, including addressing the lies, deceptions and manipulations. I specialize in extramarital affairs which very often involves a Sex and Love Addiction or some form of co-dependency. Treatment of a Sex and Love Addiction is multi-faceted and usually incorporates a Twelve-Step Program such as Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) or Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA). I am very familiar with the various twelve step programs for Sex and Love Addicts such as SLAA or RCA, as well as the literature of said programs and focus therapeutic treatment goals in accordance with the principles of said programs.
Treatment for SLA
Treatment for a Sex and Love Addiction requires hard work as well as extreme honesty, vulnerability and commitment. Thus, whether it be an extramarital affair(s), pornography addiction or some other form of SLA, my practice emphasizes that there is no simple and easy road to successful treatment. Those individuals that are committed to recognizing, accepting and treating their addiction(s) will most likely succeed and I have had dozens of couples reestablish their love and commitment to one another.
Treatment for the Spouses of an Sex and Love Addict
I also treat the spouses or partners of Sex and Love Addicts. The spouses of Sex and Love Addicts generally experience trauma. The trauma caused by an affair is like “100 cuts to one’s heart.” Most spouses or partners want to know every detail of the affair. Some have a hard time not having physical images of their partner with the other person or persons. Spouses and partners of Sex and Love Addicts often have a hard time functioning and feel a myriad of emotions such as guilt, shame and low self-esteem. They believe something is wrong with them such as not aging well or not being thin enough. They question how they compare to the affair(s). If a spouse or partner is dealing with a pornography addiction they often feel helpless and think they cannot compete with a perfect person depicted in photographic or internet images. SLA spouses or partners vacillate between thinking they are not good enough and experiencing rage at the same time toward their spouses so they don’t have to address their own low self-worth.
I help SLA spouses or partners set expectations and articulate their needs to ensure the best likelihood that their spouse or partner won’t relapse. I help address the pain and set therapeutic goals to heal their relationship.
If you’re ready to make a change, call (847) 274-8423 to make an appointment.