Has An Affair Broken Trust And Left You Uncertain About Your Relationship?
Has infidelity created tension or distance between you and your partner? Do you wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust your partner again? When you discover that your spouse has cheated, you may enter a state of shock as you try to cope with a deep sense of betrayal. The resulting pain can be gut-wrenching and you may feel overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, disbelief, helplessness and devastation. Perhaps you’ve always turned to your spouse in times of crisis, but the recent break in trust has left you feeling alone, searching for someone to help you make sense of it all.
When you discover an affair you may begin to question your self-worth, asking yourself questions like, “What is wrong with me?” or “Am I not pretty, young or sexy enough?” Through this confusion you may try to ignore or look past the infidelity, clinging to your partner and experiencing more intimacy than you have in a long time. But, if you fail to address the cause of the affair, you may quickly start to feel insecure in your relationship. Do you wish you could find a way to recover from the affair and reestablish trust and safety with your partner?
Many Couples Struggle With Infidelity
Successful marriages rarely make the headlines. Instead, you hear about celebrities constantly cheating and suddenly filing for divorce. Affairs are one of the most common causes of hardship or separation in a relationship. But, while roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, only five percent of struggling couples seek counseling.
Affairs can damage or break trust between you and your partner, and the issues will not get resolved by ignoring them. The affair may have been part of a sex addiction. Or maybe it occurred because of a disconnection or discontent in your relationship. Perhaps there was an emotional attachment formed during the affair. Or maybe your spouse still loves you and doesn’t know why he or she was unfaithful. The good news is that it is possible to recover from infidelity and reestablish trust in your relationship. With the help of an experienced couples therapist, you can identify and address the reasons for the affair and begin the healing process.
Affair Recovery Is Possible
Every affair carries with it its own unique causes and effects within a relationship. Whether you are dealing with one or numerous affairs, it is possible to heal your relationship. I understand the obstacles you are facing and will continue to face as you work through trust issues and painful emotions. With time and a guided, safe space where you and your partner can both express feelings and needs, you can recover from the betrayal and build a stronger foundation. When you are both committed to recovery, and the affair or affairs have been ended, you can heal and go on to create a closer and healthier bond.
In our sessions, you will learn the strategies and techniques you need to respond to the challenges infidelity has introduced or revealed. When you learn how to fight fairly and express needs effectively, you can reach productive, healthy conclusions instead of resorting to shouting matches and put-downs. Your arguments can become less hurtful as you better understand your spouse or partner’s behavior and stop taking it personally. By identifying and breaking destructive cycles of behavior where you or your partner try to “even the score” in the relationship, you can learn how to compromise so you both feel valued and respected.
I have seen countless couples work through issues of infidelity and develop a closer relationship than existed before the affair. By valuing and working on your relationship on a constant basis, both you and your partner can discover how sacred your relationship is and recognize how easily you could have lost each other. This doesn’t mean that you will forget that an affair happened, but you can forgive and your spouse can make amends. In affair recovery sessions, the person who cheated can come to understand that there may be times – even years later – when their partner is reminded of the affair, and they need to understand and validate his or her feelings. Although it often takes a lot of difficult and sometimes painful work, you can heal from extramarital affairs. Affair recovery counseling can help resolve the hurt and betrayal so you can heal your relationship and create a connected and meaningful path forward.
With more than 15 years of experience in couples counseling and affair recovery, I have seen hundreds of couples overcome breaches of trust and other challenges caused by infidelity. With the guidance and support of a professional therapist trained in affair recovery, you can create a stronger, healthier bond with your partner.
But, you may still have questions about therapy for affair recovery…
I’m not sure I can ever trust my partner again…
Infidelity can significantly damage or break the trust between you and your partner. There are many reasons an affair may take place, including sex addiction and intoxication. While these do not excuse the harmful behavior, it is important to address the cause behind the infidelity. Ignoring the issue will not help it heal. If you are committed to saving your relationship, rebuilding trust, while oftentimes difficult, is an important step toward healing.
What if counseling excuses my partner’s infidelity instead of holding him or her accountable?
Infidelity is never simply excused in successful affair recovery. That being said, holding on to blame and negative emotions will only cause further damage to your relationship. Trust and accountability are two critical elements in any healthy relationship. We will first attempt to understand and address the betrayal. But, to be successful in your affair recovery you must be willing to forgive your partner and develop effective ways to restore harmony and intimacy in your relationship.
I’m worried counseling will reveal there were other affairs. I don’t think I could handle that.
It is possible that affairs you are not aware of may come to light in our sessions. While this can be a painful experience, counseling offers a safe, supportive space for you and you partner to explore these and other difficult issues. If you wish to heal your relationship, it must be rebuilt on a strong foundation of honesty and accountability. I can help you understand and address harmful behaviors and their causes so you can rebuild a loving connection on stronger, healthier and more honest ground.
You Can Recover And Rebuild After An Affair
When both you and your partner are committed to healing, it is possible to recover from infidelity. If you are ready to get started on the path to healing your relationship, or if you still have questions about affair recovery, please call (847) 274-8423 to schedule an appointment.